Monday, 18 May 2009

Was the monarch likely to be unamused?

I have little time or respect for the Mail, however, I was sufficiently intrigued by their story about the monarch's opinion of the MP expenses scandal to take the necessary precautions and visit their website.
The Queen has told Gordon Brown she is worried that the scandalous revelations about MPs' expenses could damage Parliament.

She discussed the explosion of public outrage over the scandal in what is understood to have been a candid exchange of views when she met the Prime Minister for their weekly audience at Buckingham Palace on Tuesday.
The article says little more to be honest.

Now I wondered if this might have occured, and how a monarch would have detected the zeitgeist. I wrote the play in my head and now present it for public criticism. Apologies for the footnotes:

Curtain raises on Philip and Elizabeth, Philip is demonstrating rage.

Philip: "We have six hundred and fifty MPs, and most of them are a complete bloody waste of time[1]. Absolute $%&*s! They are making a mockery of you!"

Elizabeth: "Yes dear. One can't avoid seeing the front page of the Telegraph, when all one wants is the racing form."

Philip: Exit stage left, muttering.

Elizabeth: ponders for a while then rings bell.

Butler [2]: Enter stage right, bowing. "You rang your majesty?"

Elizabeth: "Yes James, I need to ask you what the servants are saying."

Butler: "Maam?"

Elizabeth: "About my MPs and their expenses."

Butler: pauses for a moment. "The servants are saying, your majesty, that your MPs are letting you down and that it is ... unfortunate."

Elizabeth: "Thank you, James, you may go"

Butler exits, curtains close.

[1] thanks to Craig Murray for this story of Philip in Ghana
[2] Royal Butlers have an interesting history... Try accused of child abuse and of theft of property.

What a way to run a country.

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